Listen up, fellow writers—let’s talk about that gut-punching moment when someone gives you feedback on your work. That moment when your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty, and you’re stuck between the bases of defending your work and knowing you have to listen with an open mind. Every word we write carries a piece of our hearts. As I sit here reflecting on my journey with writing my book of essays, I’m reminded what a privilege it is to share our stories with others. Let me take you behind the scenes of my deeply personal journey. Hopefully it will inspire your own path, whether in writing or in your personal or professional life. 

When I initially thought about writing a book, I sat down to write a self-development/help book. After all, I am a mental health clinician. But my stories had a mind of their own. It then leaned toward being a memoir. Instead, something far more intimate emerged—a collection of essays that incorporate the elements of grief, hope, and baseball to reflect some difficult and wonderful life experiences.

When I began to write from my heart, keeping my ideal reader in mind, I remembered the most effective way we can help others: sharing our truth—our life experiences that have shaped who we are and continue to become. 

I’m new to the process, but I understand sharing your work with beta readers is an excellent opportunity for others to read your collection with fresh eyes and honest hearts to determine if you’re accomplishing what you want to with your book. Choosing the small group of beta readers was not easy. I challenged myself to make sure I did not choose anyone who would hold back their thoughts, feelings, or honest feedback. Here are some tips that may be helpful for you when choosing your own beta readers:  

• Seek diversity in perspective. I chose people with knowledge of baseball and grief, and others who did not have baseball knowledge or even interest. 
• Choose readers who are candid yet kind.
• Make sure your beta readers represent your ideal reader—if your book is for Latina entrepreneurs, don’t recruit white tech bros. 

Preparing your heart and mind: 

• Figure out how you want to receive the feedback. Maybe it’s through a document within your drive, a voicemail, Facetime, Zoom, or in person over lunch or coffee.
• This space should feel sacred. It is between you and the reader. 
• Remember that every comment comes from a place of care, though you may feel offended. This is, after all, your heart on paper. (Okay, this one was a reminder for me.)
• Trust that your work will grow through this feedback.
• Ultimately, you get to decide if you want to make edits to your writing based on these critiques/feedback.

Processing Your Emotions: 

• Remember, you are the captain of this team. Every piece of feedback is just a suggestion. You get to decide what gets changed or not. That is your responsibility to your book. 
• Trust yourself enough to feel your emotions, and you’ll know which feedback rings true to your vision.
• Take a step back from your project and feedback for a few days. Journal your feelings. Meet with your therapist. Just feel.

The journey from brainstorming ideas to having the first and final manuscript is a significant accomplishment. Here are some approaches to take during this journey: 

• Continue to stay true to your voice, authenticity, and truth,
• Celebrate each step forward because there are quite a few steps backward in this process. 
• Trust yourself and work with an accountability partner. Mine is my book coach, Sabrina at https://www.unpolishedwords.com/

Ultimately, your words matter more than you know and are extremely valuable in helping others feel seen. If you’ve been holding on to a book or story close to your heart, I invite you to let it out. This could be a blog, post, book, poem, or any forum that feels good for you. When fear and doubt creep in, use it as fuel to keep going because it shows how much you care about this project. 

Every published book you’ve read or is sitting on your bookshelf waiting for you to read it started as just an idea, a draft; it was a manuscript read, or (dare I say) judged, by others. Vulnerability is your new friend! 

Trust this process because your book will find its true shape. Embrace the journey and keep writing from your heart. I’ll be right here doing the same!